


Best Mistake

by finite



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, M/M, boss-employee relationship kinda thing, my very own office au, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-07
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-04-19 13:39:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4748438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finite/pseuds/finite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Woohyun fired Howon in a moment of anger and he regretted it a second too late (how Woohyun tried to persuade Howon to take the job back)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

\--

Thud. Thud. The ache in his head intensified with each time he banged his head against the study table. Woohyun knew if Dongwoo, his housemate who was also best friend, walked in and saw him like this, he’d look so pathetic. He wasn’t fond of pain, but he couldn’t help himself from knocking his head on the hard wood again and again, each blow was stronger and more painful than the previous one. He made a mistake today. A stupid mistake that could have been prevented if he held back his anger, a stupid mistake that caused him to lose one of his company most valuable assets: Lee Howon.

Woohyun owned the  _Galaxy Publishing House_ ; the throne was passed down to him two years after he graduated college. And Howon was one of his close friends from college, who was there with him from the beginning as he learned the rope in managing the company. Howon was his chief editor.

But Woohyun was indeed stupid. For someone who rarely lost his temper, he had lashed out on Howon, the first person he met after he came back from a torturous meeting with Kim Sunggyu to sort out their supposed company merger – a wish that his father had been pressuring him to make it come true. He forgot the reason why he was angry in the first place as now only regrets stayed.

He was about to slam against the table again when a hand caught his head. Dongwoo’s concerned eyes met his. He didn’t even realise his best friend’s presence in the room.

“What happened?” Dongwoo asked, still holding the side of Woohyun’s head just in case.

“I’m so stupid,” Woohyun said quietly, aiming to bang his head against the table again, but was cushioned by Dongwoo’s strong hand.

“I can see that,” Dongwoo uttered in disapproval as he turned Woohyun’s head to see an ugly bruise forming. “Tell me what happened,” he commanded.

“I f-fired Howon,” Woohyun whispered weakly, resting his head against Dongwoo’s hand, finally feeling extremely drained due to the happenings of the day.

“Is that why your eyes are red and you’re about to blow your head and brain?” Dongwoo asked teasingly – he didn’t mean to torture his best friend even more when he already looked like a wreck, but it was interesting to see the normally composed Nam Woohyun turned into an emotional mess just because he made one mistake. But then again, he guessed that Woohyun wasn’t used to making mistakes as he always had to meet his father’s and other people’s expectation. Woohyun couldn’t afford to make mistakes. He couldn’t afford to be less than perfect. Dongwoo pitied him.

“Nam Woohyun,” Dongwoo said, feeling Woohyun tensing at the mention of his full name which was rarely used between them, “Don’t be more stupid than you already are. Stop moping and fix this.”

Woohyun let out a pathetic whimper, his eyes squeezing out the scarce tears that he rarely shed.

“What do I do, Dongwoo? I messed up. Howon, he…he’s mad at me,” Woohyun’s voice was thick with tears, but instead of sympathising with him Dongwoo felt like laughing. Woohyun was so deep in his self-pity that he couldn’t even think straight to fix this problem.

“Go apologise and rehire him.”

\--

Howon’s wife-beater was drenched in his sweats as he ran on the treadmill. He was heaving in laboured breaths as he pushed his limits. Usually, he only worked out on weekends, but today he was too angry to do anything else. He was mad at Woohyun for taking his anger out on him, he was angry at how unfair he was being treated, how easy it was for Woohyun to fire him despite being there for him since the beginning. Most of all, he just felt betrayed.  He expected more from Woohyun, knowing that he never acted out on something purely based on emotions. But today, he did. Therefore, Howon clung to his anger like a second skin instead of wallowing in the strange sadness and hurt from the betrayal he felt.

He didn’t hear the doorbell. Or he did, but he pretended not to. Especially with the sound of thunder and the loudness of his home theatre, he couldn’t be too sure. Howon only stepped down from the treadmill half an hour later, feeling the ache all over his body yet he had never felt so numb. His hand trembled as he poured himself a glass of cold water. It was then when he heard the doorbell again.

Howon opened the door only to be greeted by no one. But then his eyes caught the sight of a familiar car and a familiar figure hunched outside of the car in the pouring rain. The anger that was slowly subsiding a while ago flared up again. He slammed the door close, sliding down to his feet.

“Why is he so stupid?” Howon hissed, rubbing at his tired face.

He wanted to convince himself that he didn’t care, so he pushed himself up and decided to take a warm shower. Not even five minutes into his shower, he came out again and hastily wrapped the towel around his waist as he briskly walked to peek through the curtain to see if Woohyun was still there.

“Shit.”

Dressing up as quickly as he could, he put on his raincoat and ran outside. It seemed that Woohyun had passed out or fallen asleep on the pavement. Howon let out a string of curses as he picked up the unconscious man and carried him inside. He settled Woohyun down on the bed in one of his guest rooms. Then, he was pacing back and forth because he didn’t know what to do with the unconscious man.

“God, what did I do in my past life to deserve this?” Howon muttered to himself.

He eyed Woohyun’s wet clothes. The rational part of his brain that wasn’t freaking out was telling him to change the man into dry and clean clothes, but he was panicking. So, Howon approached the bed and decided to do the stupidest thing ever (though to him, it felt like the best choice he made all day).

“Yah Nam Woohyun! Wake up,” Howon said, shaking Woohyun awake.

It took him a couple of minutes to wake Woohyun up. Howon regretted his decision the moment Woohyun opened his eyes with the confusion piercing into his vision. Howon wanted to yell at his boss for being stupid, he wanted to hit the man for making his life miserable, but what came out of his mouth was entirely different from what he intended.

“Are you feeling okay?” His voice was surprisingly soft and tentative.

However, Howon didn’t expect Woohyun to scramble onto his feet and knelt before him.

“Woohyun, what are you doing?” Howon asked, panicked.

“I’m sorry, Howon. I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t. I was wrong and I’m sorry,” Woohyun swallowed the lump in his throat, not willing to make eye contact.

“Okay, I get it. You’re sorry. Come on, get up. Don’t do this, Woohyun,” Howon almost pleaded with the man.

“Please…tell me you’ll come back to the company,” Woohyun murmured weakly that Howon almost missed him.

The mention of the company brought back Howon’s initial anger at the man kneeling before him.

“I said get up, Nam Woohyun.”

Howon gripped the man’s arm and forced him to stand. He would feel guilty afterwards for manhandling his ex-boss, but now he was too blinded by his anger. Taking out a pair of clean clothes, he threw them in Woohyun’s hands.

“Change your clothes. I’ll send you back,” Howon announced.

No matter how angry he was, he knew that he shouldn’t let Woohyun drive in his current state. But he should have expected the man to decline his offer as the clothes were returned to him.

“I’m sorry. I’ll go now. You don’t have to send me back. Just...please think about it, okay? Just please, Howon-ah.”

Then, Woohyun was gone.

\--

Woohyun knew he was being stupid more than usual, if the throb in his head the next morning was any indication. Despite feeling very feverish, he still dressed up and went to work (a tiny part of him was hoping to see Howon in the office room across his and that yesterday was purely a nightmare). But when he arrived in his office to see that there was no his usual morning coffee on the table, he realised that yesterday was indeed real.

His secretary came in two minutes later, placing the unfamiliar take-out coffee from Starbucks on his table, profusely apologising for her lateness. He smiled half-heartedly; his eyes remained fixed on the paper cup as he was strangely (and harshly) reminded of yesterday’s morning – when everything was perfectly normal and fine.

_Howon was lounging in his office by the time he arrived. The man handed him a mug of steaming home-made coffee, a tradition since their college years. He didn’t remember exactly how it happened, but one day Howon just decided to become a permanent fixture in his life, showing up with a cup of hot (heavenly) freshly brewed coffee every morning. It was safe to say that Woohyun’s morning won’t be complete if he didn’t get his fix of Howon’s coffee._

_Woohyun brought the coffee to his lips, loving the hotness that burned his tongue, feeling his anxiety slowly slipping away. However, he tensed up when he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, a little too close to the sensitive spots on his nape._

_“God calm down, Woohyun. You’re so tense,” Howon whispered, his hands kneading away the knots in Woohyun’s shoulders._

_Woohyun hummed in approval, feeling himself relaxing against the much needed massage._

_“Thanks, Howon. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Woohyun uttered in appreciation._

_“Let me guess…the merger meeting again today?” Howon said in a knowing tone._

_Woohyun didn’t say anything, knowing that his silence spoke louder than any word he could offer at the moment._

_“You’ll do great, Woohyun. Don’t fall into Sunggyu’s trap, okay? Just ignore him and focus only on the business matter,” Howon said, slowly easing that one stubborn knot at the point where Woohyun’s neck met his shoulder. Woohyun accidentally let out a satisfied moan, leading Howon to bite his lips in an attempt to contain his own arousal at the stimulating sound._

_“You know he’ll always taunt me…can’t you come with me today? Please, Howon. You’re always there when he gets too much. I can’t deal with him, and he knows it especially he knows that I’ll always fall into his taunt,” Woohyun confessed, the distraught in his voice was clear._

_Howon knew that it was eating Woohyun up on the inside. Sunggyu had always been unnecessarily mean towards Woohyun since they were younger, that was what Woohyun had told him. But that was not all to his story, Howon believed. Judging from the look Sunggyu gave Woohyun every time they had a meeting or even friendly lunches, he had a creeping suspicion that the older man was harbouring more than friendly feeling towards his boss and Woohyun knew it. It was further proven by the way Woohyun would freak out every time he announced that he had to meet Sunggyu for their company business dealings and how Woohyun always begged him to go with him. Howon’s witty nature came in handy when dealing with people like Kim Sunggyu._

_Howon genuinely felt sorry because he couldn’t make it this time as he himself had a lunch meeting with the editor of Cleo regarding their magazine collaboration next month. He didn’t know what came into him, but he brought his lips to a spot under Woohyun’s ear, his boss tensing expectedly at the contact._

_“Howon-ah…” he muttered as his voice uncharacteristically cracked._

_Before he could regret whatever he was doing, Howon kissed Woohyun. It was short, though when he pulled back, Woohyun still had his eyes closed._

_“Do your best today, Woohyun,” Howon said, showing a fist of encouragement before exiting the room, leaving Woohyun in a daze._

“Boss?”

“Oh sorry. What were you saying?” Woohyun asked.

His secretary placed an envelope on his table, Woohyun’s heart clenched at the familiar handwriting, the  _hanja_ strokes that could only belong to Howon.

“Howon-sshi dropped by earlier and asked me to hand his resignation letter to you,” she explained, her brows furrowing as she took in her boss’ pained expression.

“Okay. You can go now, Mijoo. Thank you…for the coffee,” Woohyun mumbled, his chest tightening. He turned on his back, hoping that she would get the message. He just wanted to be alone at the moment.

“And oh before I forget, the coffee is not from me by the way. Howon bought everyone coffee as a sign of…”

“Mijoo!”

“Okay, I’ll leave now. I’m sorry, boss,” she quickly apologised and left.

When he was truly alone, he let himself fall on the sofa, his arm covering his eyes, his tears already soaking the sleeve of his shirt.

 _Fix this, Woohyun. This is your mess._ Dongwoo’s voice from this morning kept ringing in his head. He bit his lips, hating the sudden memory of Howon’s soft lips on his. He pondered what the kiss had meant. To him. To Howon. But he knew he couldn’t figure out the answer on his own.

‘I need to see him again.’

\--

Howon anxiously waited for another update from Mijoo. He hated the guilt creeping up in his gut when Mijoo told him that Woohyun had looked like crap when he showed up for work today. He begged Mijoo to play the double agent for him, updating him on any necessary information about Woohyun’s condition. He almost regretted it as he kept receiving worse and worse news all day.

He kept scrolling up and down the Kakaotalk messages from Mijoo, in case he missed any update.

 

_Howon-sshi, I think boss is sick_

How sick?

Can you check on him?

_I heard him throwing up_

_Wait_

He what?

_Yes, he threw up and I don’t think he’d had his breakfast_

Can’t you buy something for him?

Force him to eat anything

_I tried. He insisted to be left alone T_T_

_Should I call a doctor? Will boss get mad?_

How’s his condition?

_He’s very pale_

_And he cancelled two meetings today_

Meds?

_He took Tylenol this morning_

_He’s resting_

Can you keep an eye on him?

_Boss skipped lunch_

Just buy him anything, will you?

 

Mijoo didn't reply for the longest time. Howon felt like he’s going to go crazy. Five minutes to three in the afternoon, a message buzzed in.

 

_Boss left work early_

_He said he’s going to rest at home_

Oh I see

Thanks Mijoo

I owe you one

 

Howon felt strangely relieved after that message. He silently hoped that Woohyun really went back home to take a rest. He considered texting Dongwoo to make sure (he knew how stubborn Woohyun could be at times), but he thought against it. He realised that he was acting like a possessive ex-boyfriend who couldn’t move on from his previous relationship despite ending it himself.

“Fuck,” he cursed, realising how unhealthy it was for him to act like this.

But he couldn’t blame himself. He had always been with Woohyun since their college years. He knew Woohyun was strong, but that didn’t stop him from getting worried about the man from time to time, especially considering his tendency to abandon his own well-being when he was too fixed on trying to mend his mistakes.

“Fuck, fuck,” Howon hissed; realising that this mess was no longer on Woohyun’s shoulders alone. It was now his mess as well.

“I can’t think like this,” Howon announced to no one, deciding to distract his distraught mind by cooking himself dinner.

While he was busy stirring his kimchi stew, his house phone rang. He frowned. People rarely called him through his house number, unless it was his neighbour. He wiped his hand on the apron he’s wearing and answered the call.

“Hello?” he said tentatively.

“Oh Howonnie, you’re home. I thought you’re out at work.”

“Ah, ahjumma. I…I’m taking a break from work for a few weeks. What’s up?” Howon said, walking to his stew to lower the flame, so he didn’t accidentally burn anything while he talked to the ahjumma living just across the street.

“I’m just calling you because there’s a car in front of your house. I assumed that you’re not home, so I thought about letting you know that you probably have a guest waiting for you.”

Howon’s heart stuttered.

“A car?”

“Yes, a white Bentley. It’s been…I think two hours? I can’t see the person inside because the windows are all tinted. Is it someone you know, Howon-ah? Should I call the police?” Howon felt sorry as her worried voice filled his ears.

“No, it’s okay, ahjumma. It’s my friend. I think he doesn’t know that I’m home,” he half-lied.

“Oh that’s great. Invite him in then, Howon. Don’t be rude to your guest. Thank God I didn’t call the police or poor lad would have ended sleeping in cells tonight,” she giggled.

Howon thanked her and bid her goodbye. He went to turn off the stove and sighed deeply, rubbing his tired face. Looking at the food, he was painfully reminded that he had just made Woohyun’s favourite dish without him realising it and he was reminded of how Woohyun had skipped his meals earlier.

He peeked through the curtain, sighing as he confirmed the fact that Woohyun’s car was parked outside of his house.

\--

Woohyun softly drummed his head on his steering wheel. He had been doing it for the last two hours. His stomach rumbled in protest a few times only to be ignored. He started to feel the familiar burn at the pit of his stomach and realised how empty he had been feeling throughout the day, literally and figuratively. He wanted to run to Howon’s front door, he wanted to drop on his knees like yesterday, he just wanted Howon back. But today he hesitated. If yesterday he threw away his pride to apologise, today his pride was in his way of begging for Howon to come back to the company again (to come back to him again).

The sudden knock on his car window startled him, which had him jerking slightly in his seat. He was surprised to find Howon standing outside of his car. Howon knocked again.

“Open up, Woohyun.” He had no choice, but to unlock his car, letting Howon into his space.

Woohyun wanted to say something, anything to get rid of the uncomfortable silence in the car, but Howon beat him to it.

“What do you want?” Howon asked. The questions sounded harsher than Howon intended.

Howon regretted the words as the hurt flashed temporarily on Woohyun’s face. Then, his eyes became dark again, hooded as he locked Howon out of his real emotions.

“Um I…I,” Woohyun was lost for words. He didn’t know what to say and how to say it without offending Howon like he did yesterday.

“You want me to come back?” Howon helped him put the words together.

Woohyun flinched at the bitterness hurled at him in Howon’s tone. He set his eyes on his lap, nodding silently. He knew that he came for different reason today, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask Howon.

“Give me five good reasons why I should come back,” Howon said, sounding indifferent.

If there was anyone in the world Howon hated the most at that moment, it was himself. He hated how he let his stupid ego get tangled up in this mess. It was not helping at all. Howon was half expecting Woohyun to stay quiet, but he was surprised when Woohyun started listing his reasons.

“One, you didn’t deserve the unfair dismissal. Two, you are an extremely valuable asset to the company and I have no right to fire you without legit reasons especially after years of your excellent service. Three, the board members didn’t approve of my rash decision to sack you, which means my action was invalid. Four, the company needs you…”

Woohyun paused to take a deep breath. Woohyun’s reasons left a bitter taste in Howon’s mouth as he made it seem like he was only doing this for the company. Call Howon selfish because he was hoping for something more personal than Woohyun’s ‘the company needs you’.

“What’s your last reason? Say it now or I’m leaving this instant,” Howon said, stubbornly refusing to look at Woohyun as he expected the worse.

“Howon-ah…” Woohyun called for him, which he ignored. He was just waiting for that one last reason that will either make him change his mind and go back to the company or break whatever ties he had with Woohyun forever.

“Howon, please…look at me,” Woohyun pleaded.

Howon was scared to turn his head. He didn’t want to see Woohyun’s tears because that would be the last straw of him holding onto his ego. Then, Woohyun touched his arm – the touch was so gentle, Howon was sure he was imagining it. But then, things changed as Woohyun cupped his face and softly leaned in to press his lips against Howon’s.

His hand instinctively went to hold Woohyun’s nape, tilting his head as he deepened the kiss. Woohyun’s breaths felt hot on his face as Woohyun’s hand lingered, cupping his face still. Howon had no idea what was happening and why it was happening, but they were kissing. The burning passion returned to Howon’s stomach when Woohyun moaned softly as his tongue caressed against Woohyun’s.

When they parted from each other’s lips, both of them were in a daze. Howon left without a word and Woohyun didn’t even try to stop him from leaving. There was nothing he could say anyway. He was still panting in heavy breaths, his heart beating wildly against his ribcages. If he had come to look for answers, now he was left in a deeper confusion. Howon’s willingness to return the kiss he initiated was indeed puzzling, and most of all, the heart that won’t stop running marathons confused him even more.

Woohyun stayed for a good half an hour before he was sure that he could drive again. Howon and his hot lips were the only thoughts that filled his mind all the way back home. If he had left home feeling feverish this morning, now he returned feeling even hotter and it had nothing to do with his physical body temperature. Woohyun was about to leave his car when he noticed something placed on the passenger seat. He took the food thermos and unscrewed the lid. The strong smell of kimchi stew hit his senses and his heart fluttered as a new realisation struck him.

‘He still cares.’

\--


	2. Part 2

\--

Howon spent the week like any unemployed man would. He went to sleep when it was nearing dawn only to wake up in late afternoon. His early dinner was a combination of breakfast and lunch that he missed. He didn’t care to change out of his ugly sweater, wearing the same one every day. One thing that didn’t change was the usual update that he would consistently receive from Mijoo.

It did bother him a little that Woohyun hadn’t been coming or trying to contact him at all. He nearly thought that Woohyun had given up on recruiting him back into the company. Every night he dreamed about the kiss they shared in Woohyun’s car. In every dream, they would just hold each other and kiss; nothing more, nothing less. It was getting on his nerves how he always woke up with a hard-on just from a mere dream of him making out with Woohyun.

It wasn’t until the eighth morning; he woke up to a message from Mijoo asking him if he’s coming back any time soon.

 

Why?

_Boss is not looking for your replacement, y’know_

I don’t care

_Howon-sshi, you should care_

It’s none of my business. I don’t work there anymore

 

Howon regretted pressing ‘send’, knowing how he just sounded like the world’s biggest jerk.

 

_..._

_If you don’t care, then I shouldn’t been telling you anything about the boss anymore_

_Because apparently you ‘don’t work here anymore’_

I’m sorry Mijoo. That was rude of me

How’s the company holding up?

_*sighs*_

_The company’s doing fine, but boss is not_

_He was called by the board members a few days ago_

Are you guys already looking for my replacement?

_I told you, boss is not looking for any…at least not at the moment_

Then, who’s been doing the chief editor’s job?

_Boss is_

_He’s been doing both his and your job this week_

_And it’s not looking good on his health_

_He looks like a zombie, Howon-sshi_

_Aren’t you going to come back?_

Ask him to put an ad for my former position

Tell him don’t be stupid

_I’m sorry_

_But tell that to yourself_

_I’m not contacting you anymore, Howon-sshi_

_Man up and please make your decision wisely_

 

Mijoo’s last message stabbed at his conscience. He hated knowing that Woohyun was suffering and it was all because of him. He hated how he was so hesitant to take the job back. He was definitely not mad at Woohyun anymore. Hell, he had forgiven Woohyun on the first day he came begging him for his forgiveness. He hated himself because he realised that there was something else that he wanted.

With that realisation, Howon finally made up his mind. He decided that if Woohyun came to him again, he would give in this time. Only if Woohyun came back and asked.

But sadly for Howon, Woohyun didn’t.

\--

Another week passed without any update on Woohyun and how his company was doing. It was safe to say that Howon almost lost half of his hair as he kept tugging at them out of anxiety. Mijoo wasn’t lying when she said she was not going to contact Howon anymore. All Howon messages were unread and not replied to.

Howon was considering about making a detour to the company, just to see how they were doing, how Woohyun was doing, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He was pretty sure that by now, Woohyun would have found the perfect replacement for him – which won’t be a surprise considering his network. It slightly hurt his pride, realising how easy it was for Woohyun to replace him.

Opening the fridge, he groaned when there was basically nothing left to eat. He realised that it was way past his usual date of grocery shopping. A sudden sense of sadness washed over him, remembering how he and Woohyun always did their grocery shopping together. He sighed.

‘I guess I need to get used to doing it alone then.’

He grabbed his wallet and car key before making his way out of the house with a familiar destination in his mind and a tiny hope that he would miraculously bump into the man that had been haunting his dreams for days.

For a Saturday, the supermarket he frequented was quite deserted. He easily found the things that he needed, throwing some unnecessary items his health didn’t need into the trolley which usually earned him an earful from Woohyun. He reached his last alley after noticing that he still didn’t have milk among his grocery stuff. Howon was about to grab his favourite full cream milk when an employee driving a forklift suddenly alerted everyone to get out of his way as he drove into the alley. Taken off guard by the sudden announcement, Howon knocked into a guy who was standing right in front of his favourite milk section.

He quickly muttered a sorry under his breath yet he couldn’t move as the forklift slowly passed by him. He sniffed a familiar and sweet cologne smell coming from the man, feeling almost regretful when he had to step back. There were butterflies in his stomach as he took notice of the man’s build. It was Woohyun.

“Howon,” Woohyun greeted him as he turned back.

“Woohyun.”

Howon noticed the obvious weight loss. Woohyun had always looked fit, though there were times when he was so thin from their busy work life. However, this Woohyun who was looking at him through his pair of rare reading glasses seemed so frail, so vulnerable looking.

‘Did I do this to him?’ He felt another pang of guilt.

Woohyun fidgeted on his feet, showing him an obvious sign of his anxiety. Then, Howon saw it – the faint tremble in his fingers. It was easy to miss that sign, but Howon had spent years watching Woohyun, understanding his habits and body languages. He felt angry when he realised what the tremble meant.

Catching Woohyun off guard, Howon took the basket that he was holding.

“Is this all? Do you have something else that you need to get?”

Woohyun looked clueless as he mumbled cheese quietly. Howon placed Woohyun’s basket in his trolley, pushing it towards the dairy section – which gave Woohyun no choice, but to trail behind him.

“Done? Is there anything else?” Howon asked after placing three packets of cheese into the trolley. Woohyun shook his head.

He was about to push the trolley again when he felt a gentle squeeze on his arm. He looked at Woohyun, who seemed to have a faint sad-looking smile on his face.

“You don’t have to do this, Howon,” Woohyun said, his tone was almost pleading.

“No, listen to me, Nam Woohyun. You’re going to let me pay all of this and after that we’re going to get some food down in your system. How long have you been starving yourself?” Howon tried his best to remain calm, knowing that nothing good can come out of him being angry at Woohyun’s stupidity this time.

So, Woohyun let him pay for everything. Only when they were at the parking lot, Howon turned around to face Woohyun again.

“Your car or my car,” Howon asked.

He saw Woohyun’s face flush a little at the question.

“You didn’t bring your car?” Howon guessed, to which Woohyun nodded.

“My car, then. Come, it’s this way,” he said, glancing behind him every a few seconds to make sure Woohyun won’t run away.

“I’m not going to run away, you idiot,” Woohyun snorted at him.

Howon bit his lips, a smile threatening to break as now it sounded like the old Woohyun that he was so used to having around. Woohyun helped him to load all their groceries into the trunk. Only when they were seated in the car, they realised how awkward it was considering their last interaction in Woohyun’s car had been…well pretty heated.

Woohyun struggled with his seatbelt, frowning as it kept getting stuck.

“How come your seatbelt is still problematic, Howon-ah?” Woohyun complained as he tugged at the stubborn seatbelt multiple times, but no avail.

“I forgot to fix it?” Howon sheepishly offered his lame excuse. He was pretty sure his face was red because he was thinking of how they kissed the other day in Woohyun’s car. He leaned in and reached out for the seatbelt, accidentally touching Woohyun’s hand, the other man flinching at his touch.

“It just needs,” Howon muttered, noticing how close their faces were and also how Woohyun was holding his breath, “a little hard tug,” he finished as the seatbelt was functioning again.

When Howon pulled back, he heard the other man breathing normally again. Smiling to himself as he saw how he probably wasn’t the only one affected by their proximity, he drove away.

“I just want to say I’m…” Woohyun said to break the uncomfortable silence, but Howon shook his head and stopped him before he could finish.

“No, don’t apologise, Woohyun _hyung_. Please…I mean it. I already forgave you,” Howon admitted.

Howon rarely included the hyung part when it came to Woohyun, especially after he found out that Woohyun was only one month older. However, there were times he needed to use it to make Woohyun understand that he was being serious and it wasn’t just lips service. He wasn’t trying to make Woohyun feel better (okay, of course Howon always wanted to make Woohyun feel better, but that was beside the point), he just needed Woohyun to know that he no longer took offense of the whole firing-him-in-a-moment-of-distress thing.

“Okay. I won’t apologise anymore,” Woohyun said quietly.

Then, the car was back to the awkward, uncomfortable silence. Howon glanced at the man next to him. Woohyun was staring out of the window, his gaze long and far away. Now the glasses were gone, Howon could see the bags and the dark circles beneath his eyes. He remembered Mijoo telling him about Woohyun doing both his job and Howon’s former job. He wanted to ask about it, but figured that he needed to feed Woohyun first.

\--

Woohyun was surprised that Howon took him to their favourite diner when they were still university students. He turned to Howon, only to receive a smile that strangely made his heart leap. Exiting the car, a sudden wave of dizziness washed over him. He was quick to grab the car’s door to stabilise himself. Shaking his head in hope to get rid of the light-headedness, he found Howon’s comforting arm around him.

“Are you okay, Woohyun?” Howon asked. He felt Howon cupping his face as he examined his condition before forming his own conclusion. “No, you’re not okay. Come on, you need food.”

Woohyun let Howon wrap his arm around his waist as he was guided into the diner. Howon found them a table and quickly summoned a waiter to take their order. Woohyun didn’t dare to open his eyes, leaning back against his seat.

“Hey, open up. You need this,” Howon told him.

He opened his mouth and felt something really sugary yet soft against his lips. He chewed on the doughnut slowly before Howon helped him to drink a glass of warm milk. Howon forced him to eat more sweet stuff while waiting for the real food to arrive. He was thankful as he opened his eyes; the diner was no longer in doubles.

“God, you scared me sometimes, Woohyun. Do you know that?” Howon said.

Woohyun would have apologised again for scaring him if it wasn’t for the joking tone he was using. He chuckled as he shoved a creampuff into his mouth.

“Thanks, Howon,” Woohyun said, sincerity in his voice.

“Don’t mention it,” Howon replied, his trademark smirk was back on his face.

The smirk then turned into a frown. Woohyun found himself mirroring the expression.

“What?” he asked.

“You have something,” Howon breathed, his thumb wiping the custard filling at the corner of Woohyun’s lips, “here.”

Woohyun felt his cheeks burn as Howon brought his thumb to his lips, making this sucking sound as he licked the cream clean. Woohyun was so close to fleeing the scene. Biting his lips, he proceeded to drink his milk, making extra sure that there was nothing on his lips after he had finished drinking.

“So, how are you?” Howon broke the silence.

Howon wasn’t the type to make small talks. He knew that when Howon tried like this, it meant that he was still feeling guilty about everything, though it wasn’t even his fault to begin with. He wanted to apologise, again and again, but he knew that doing so would only make Howon angry and he didn’t want Howon to be mad at him.

It was true that he was having a hard time, doing Howon’s job alongside doing his job. But after that night, he realised that he couldn’t lose Howon. So, he decided that he would let Howon decide for himself and he would wait. No matter how hard it was for him, especially with the board members pressuring him to find another person for Howon’s former position, he couldn’t find it in him to replace Howon.

“I’m…coping. You?”

He looked at Howon next to him. The man had an unreadable gaze in his eyes.

“Me too.”

Howon’s answer was short and quiet yet it told Woohyun a lot. He felt relieved to know that Howon, too, was not okay with the whole thing. That he hadn’t moved on yet. That he somehow was still holding onto this invisible thread that tied him to Woohyun. Call him a sadist, but he was glad that Howon was probably suffering like him too.

When their food arrived, Woohyun flashed a fond smile at Howon. The man had ordered Woohyun’s favourite _donkatsu_ from the diner. It always surprised him how Howon remembered these little details about him that he himself sometimes forgot. He silently watched Howon eat his _jjajjangmyeon_ , his hand subconsciously playing with his food with the fork he was holding.

“Yah, are you going to keep staring at me and faint for real this time?” Howon hissed at him.

He grinned sheepishly and proceeded to eat his food, feeling his cheeks heating up as he felt Howon’s gaze on him. Now, the table was turned and Howon was the one staring at him. Woohyun knew he was doing it on purpose. Knowing Howon all these years, he knew how much the other man loved playing mind games with him.

“Did Dongwoo hyung drop you off earlier?” Howon asked, again being the first to initiate such small talks.

“Yeah, he has a conference to attend downtown,” Woohyun answered, reaching out for his mango smoothie which was unfortunately a little out of his reach. Howon handed it to him like it was not a big deal, but it made him realise something he hadn’t before.

Woohyun had never realised how dependent he was on Howon all these year until now. And this realisation scared him a little because he couldn’t really imagine a life without Howon. These past two weeks had been a proof that he could barely survive without him.

“Woohyun?” Howon waved in front of his face to snap him back to reality.

“Oh yeah, did you say something?”

“Nothing,” Howon admitted, still giving Woohyun this look that he couldn’t understand. “You know, I hate seeing you like this, Woohyun.”

He knew. He hated it too. He hated how so un-Woohyun-like he was becoming. He stared at his lap, chewing his lips as he had nothing to say about this.

“I know. That’s why I’m trying…I’ll get better, I promise,” Woohyun said, still staring down at his lap, fiddling with his fingers.

Howon took one of his hands and folded it together with his, it made Woohyun look up to meet Howon’s concerned gaze. There were questions swimming in Howon’s eyes, he could see it. But it seemed that Howon was holding himself back somehow.

“I wonder why you haven’t been asking me to return to the company,” Howon voiced, his lips thinning as he waited for Woohyun’s answer.

“I don’t want to force or pressure you. Everything’s my fault, you know it too. So, I figured that the least I can do is to wait for you to cool down and decide what is good for your life,” Woohyun explained.

Howon didn’t ask more questions after that. They continued eating in silence, but this time this silence was very much welcomed. Both of them were deep in their thoughts. It was until they had to pay for their meals; Woohyun finally spoke again, insisting that he should pay this time since Howon paid for his grocery. Howon let him.

He felt Howon’s hand on the small of his back as they walked back to the car. He almost blurted out that he was fine and didn’t need Howon to keep him on his feet like what happened earlier, but he didn’t do it because it felt nice. He didn’t understand his own feelings, but he felt warm all over when Howon did this kind of gesture – which to him felt strangely intimate.

Howon drove him home. It was a little after 3 in the afternoon when they arrived at his house. He wanted to protest when Howon turned off his engine, but the man beat him to it.

“I’ll help you with your stuff,” Howon offered.

That was how he ended up letting Howon carry most of his groceries as he took out his house key to unlock the door. To his surprise, the door was already unlocked. His widened eyes met Howon’s curious ones.

“You didn’t lock it when you left?” Howon asked, sounding alarmed.

“No, I checked twice. You know I always do that, right?” Woohyun said, frowning as he felt uneasy.

“But oh well, it could be the door lock malfunctioning or something, right? It could happen,” Woohyun shrugged, trying to make it seem like it was not a big deal though his increased heartbeat said otherwise.

The last thing he wanted was to make Howon worry again. He was about to push the door open when Howon grabbed his arm almost forcefully, shaking his head at Woohyun as if telling him not to go inside.

“It’s alright, Howon. I’m just going to check…”

“Can you not be stubborn for once?” Howon hissed, surprising Woohyun with his sudden change of mood.

Howon handed him his grocery bags and stepped forward, getting in front of Woohyun as he pushed the door open. He glanced at Woohyun over his shoulder.

“If anything happens, first thing I want you to do is run, okay? Promise me,” Howon asked in a whisper. Woohyun nodded weakly as another realisation struck him. Howon’s change of mood was because he was scared, shit-worried about Woohyun’s safety. He didn’t know how to particularly feel about that.

‘Does he…like me?’ The question popped in his mind. He felt his heart speeding up even more as he pondered about it.

Woohyun only realised it now that he was standing alone in front of the slightly ajar door. Thinking of Howon, he quickly rushed inside.

“What are you doing here?” He heard Howon’s raised voice.

Howon sounded annoyed for some reasons. Another change of mood, Woohyun noted. He walked inside, dragging each footstep towards the kitchen with a dread in his stomach. He had a terrible feeling about this.

“Oh, Howon-sshi. Nice meeting you here.” Woohyun recognised that awfully familiar voice. He should be feeling relieved that it was someone he knew, but somehow his uneasiness grew.

“I asked you, what are you doing here?” Howon repeated his question.

Woohyun could see his backside from the kitchen entrance. His friend’s body was blocking the woman that he knew was there in the kitchen.

“I’m just fixing something for oppa. You don’t mind, right?” Mijoo said.

There was this playful tone in her voice that Woohyun didn’t like and his gut feeling was telling him that this was going to end badly if he didn’t step in and clarify the situation. However, before he could do anything, Howon turned around and stormed past him. Woohyun took a while to digest the angry expression on Howon’s face when he walked out of the kitchen.

He abandoned his grocery bags and ran after Howon. By the time he got to Howon’s car, he was panting and frowning as he found that the door was locked. Desperately, he knocked on the window.

“Howon, please let me in,” Woohyun pleaded, feeling panicked when Howon started the car engine and started to drive away.

Woohyun realised that this was not a drama where he should start breaking into a small run to chase after Howon’s car. His legs felt weak as he dropped on the pavement, numb to the ache in his knees when they met the hard ground. Woohyun clasped onto his clothed chest, as if trying to contain every single ounce of pain that his heart was feeling at the moment.

“Howon…” he muttered as tiny droplets of tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Oppa! What are you doing? Come on, get up please. Let’s get you inside,” Mijoo said, tugging at his arm.

“Mijoo-yah…I really r-ruined it this time. He’s g-gone for real. He’s not c-coming back,” Woohyun whimpered, sobbing harder into his palms.

He knew he was pathetic, crying over little things that he could actually fix. But when it came to Howon, he somehow always felt like he had no control over what he could do. He could have taken the car key and driven away to Howon’s house, explaining everything he needed to make Howon understand. But here he was, crying like a child missing his mother at the pavement in front of his house.

Woohyun felt Mijoo’s arms around his trembling shoulders and the soft pats on his back. However, he didn’t even feel comforted at the gestures that were supposed to console him. He buried his face on the woman’s shoulder, crying harder as he remembered Howon’s angry (and somewhat betrayed?) expression when he left.

“I’m sorry, Woohyun oppa,” she whispered in his ears, “You can fix this. Trust me, you can.”

“Why is everything so hard?” Woohyun cried. ‘Without Howon,’ he added in his mind.

“It’s not that hard, oppa. Just tell him the truth,” Mijoo broke the embrace and held Woohyun’s face. “Okay?”

As Mijoo helped him to get back inside, he wondered: ‘What is the truth?’

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yikes I’m adding another part (and another one). Sue me. This is getting out of hand. Btw, this is not proofread. I’ll do it later when I have time. Sorry! hope you guys enjoy this part as well! click the kudos if you like it and let me know what you think in the comment section!


	3. Part 3

\--

Howon drove home in fit of anger and jealousy. He tried to control his ragged breathing, which only resulted in him clasping at the steering wheel until his knuckles went white. He felt different emotions running through his body and felt his stomach sink lower when he realized the dominant one was actually betrayal.

He still couldn’t believe how naïve he was to think and believe for a split second that Woohyun actually needed him and wanted him back. He felt stupid that he had indulged in the short moment in which he was caring for Woohyun, thinking that they could possibly go back to being normal friends again (and perhaps something more). The journey back home was filled with nothing, but these mixed feelings that burned him.

After he safely parked his car, the gears in his head started spinning again, dark thoughts looming. There were the emotions – jealousy, anger, betrayal, cheated, most of all hurt – all came crashing at once. He rested his head against the wheel, keeping his breathing steady, under control. He thought about Mijoo. How peculiar it was to find her in the comfort of Woohyun’s home. As far as he’s known Woohyun, the man was very private. There was no way Mijoo could have come and gone at her will if she wasn’t personally involved with Woohyun.

That was the fact that had Howon fleeing the home, though he had intended to stay at first. It was the realization that Mijoo and Woohyun were probably more than mere colleagues that made Howon run away like a man with a wounded heart.

He remembered how hard it was to convince Woohyun back when they were still in college to let him near his house. Six months. That was how long Woohyun took before he allowed Howon in his personal space, his home. That was also when he found out that Woohyun didn’t let anyone into his life easily.

Howon bit his lower lip, trying to keep the tears that pricked at his eyes in. He thought he was going to combust with this strange feeling of being played, being betrayed. He had never felt so stupid in his life. He had honestly thought that Mijoo was helping him because she knew how he really felt about Woohyun (and in a way, when she pestered him about taking the job back, Howon thought that she sincerely wanted him back at Woohyun’s side). Now, Howon saw the truth and where he stood in their possible relationship, he felt lost.

‘Then, what am I?’

Despite everything, it was starting to hurt when he thought about how he saw Woohyun collapsing on the pavement in his rearview mirror, his heart clenching painfully at the notion of the man hurting because of him despite the fact that he was the one being angry and jealous in the first place. He sighed. He needed to get out of the car and a long shower to settle his messy state of mind (and hopefully to sooth the hurt that was slowly creeping into his heart).

\--

The cold water splashed against his face didn’t make him feel better, but at least it washed away the remains of tears on his cheeks (though not necessarily his embarrassment). Woohyun knew he had to talk to Mijoo once he stepped out of the safety of his bedroom. His secretary would probably talk him into ‘letting Howon know the truth’ though he still couldn’t put his mind to what was the truth that needed to be revealed to the said man.

With a deep breath, he walked out of his room. As he expected, the woman was standing just outside of his door, concern decorating her face.

“Are you okay, oppa?” she asked, to which Woohyun just weakly nodded.

He led the way to the kitchen, sitting in one of the tall stools next to the counter. She followed his lead and sat next to him. Then, she was giving him comforting pats on his back as if telling him she was there if he wanted to talk.

“What were you doing here?” Woohyun asked, looking at Mijoo.

She looked apologetic as she explained how Dongwoo had left one of his important files for the conference, so she was only here to fetch it for her boyfriend of two years. She apologised to Woohyun for making things even more complicated between him and Howon. Woohyun pursed his lips as Howon was being brought up again.

“Then, why are you still here?” Woohyun muttered.

“Because I know I can’t leave you like this, oppa,” Mijoo said, her eyes filled with sympathy that Woohyun knew he hated.

“You can leave now. I’m sure Dongwoo hyung is probably freaking out because of that file,” Woohyun said, choosing to rest his face on the cold, marble-top counter.

“Have you talked to Howon about coming back to the company?”

Woohyun groaned, knowing that Mijoo won’t leave until she managed to make him talk about Howon, a topic that he had been avoiding since weeks ago. Stubbornly, he closed his eyes, refusing to give into what Mijoo wanted.

Then, he felt the soft, almost motherly touch on his head, her fingers raking through his hair.

“You can’t keep doing this to yourself, oppa. I know it’s your fault for firing him in the first place, but you apologised. If Howon is a nice friend as you claimed him to be, he should have come back if he knows how you’re suffering without him at the office,” Mijoo said.

“Don’t…say that. He _is_ a nice friend. You don’t know him,” Woohyun replied, opening his eyes to see Mijoo looking at him with that pair of apologetic eyes again. She really knew his weakness.

“Then, what’s the problem? Do you still want him back at the company or not? If you don’t want to think about yourself, think about the company, oppa. How could the CEO do the chief editor’s work on top of his work? Do you think it won’t affect the company’s performance?”

Woohyun buried his face in his arms, Mijoo’s sharp words piercing his heart. He knew he couldn’t do this forever, especially not when he had the board of directors hot on his tail and his own health deteriorating. And it’s only been two weeks.

Mijoo’s hand was back on his head, patting him.

“Go talk to him. Resolve whatever problem you guys have with each other. Make him accept the job back or you really have to find someone for his position, oppa. Promise me you’ll do that, okay?”

“Okay,” He weakly said and instantly there was a smile on Mijoo’s face – as if she knew he would agree all along.

“By the way, I cooked something for Dongwoo oppa and I have some leftovers for you on the stove. Reheat it and don’t forget to eat, okay? I’m going now,” Mijoo said, already standing up. “You don’t have to send me out, oppa. Take care!”

After Mijoo left the house, Woohyun went over to the stove to see that she had made tofu stew for Dongwoo (and him). He smiled, remembering how it was one of Howon’s favourite. An idea struck him like lightning and the next thing he knew was that he’s packing away the stew, already halfway there to Howon’s house.

Only when he was parked outside of Howon’s house and was harshly reminded of the night he stood in the rain to apologise, he started to rethink his decision. He was thinking of bailing out, but then Mijoo’s words rang in his ears. He knew that he couldn’t continue living like this forever. He had to at least come to a closure with Howon. Woohyun decided that even if he couldn’t make Howon come back to the company, he wanted them to stay friends (though at the rate they’re going, it seemed like a tough job).

Putting his hand on the door, he started knocking. He started softly at first, but then his knocks grew louder and more determined. It was obvious and understandable how Howon deliberately didn’t answer the door. That was why Woohyun was taken off guard when the door swung open, revealing a freshly showered, wet-haired Howon who looked like he was (still) angry.

Woohyun didn’t even get to say anything; not even a greeting before the door was slammed shut, missing his nose by an inch. He was speechless, standing there without doing and thinking of anything for a while before he snapped out of his trance and started knocking on the door again – with more determination this time. It was starting to hurt his knuckles, but he only knocked harder, louder. He wasn’t sure if Howon was right behind the door, but he pleaded that they needed to talk.

“Howon please…let me in,” he said, close to begging.

Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he noticed the ugly bruise starting to form on his knuckles. He quickly typed a message and pressed ‘send’, in hope that Howon would give in just this once.

\--

Howon read the message: ‘I’m not leaving till we talk.’ He sighed out of frustration. He really didn’t want to see Woohyun at the moment, especially when he was not sure if he was still angry at his friend or simply hurt over what he had found out. However, Howon also didn’t want a repeat performance of two weeks ago. After five minutes of contemplating, he gave up and let the door open, silently inviting Woohyun inside.

He guided the man to his living room, but was surprised that Woohyun headed straight to the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

Woohyun turned around, wearing an innocent smile as he lifted the eco bag that he was holding.

“I brought food?” Woohyun answered hesitantly.

Howon sighed, his legs following Woohyun’s footsteps into his kitchen. He observed Woohyun taking out a huge bowl, carefully pouring the stew into it before placing it in the microwave. Even after he’s done pressing the necessary buttons for the food to get reheated, he kept his back on Howon.

“Woohyun.”

Only then, Woohyun turned around to face Howon. There was a small smile on his lips, but then it turned into a frown as his eyes met Howon’s.

“Are you planning to catch a cold?” Woohyun asked, noticing Howon’s wet hair.

Hearing this, Howon grunted in annoyance. Woohyun gave him a pointed look that forced him to leave the kitchen as he went to dry his hair properly. When Howon left, Woohyun sighed tiredly. He had no idea what to say to Howon without Howon getting mad at him and even worse, kick him out of the house like he did when Woohyun first asked him to come back to the company.

Woohyun was unsure of how to approach the sensitive subject. He also didn’t know how to start explaining to Howon about Mijoo. He figured out that Mijoo was probably the reason that had Howon running away from his house. Though Howon’s reasons were unclear to him now, he had a guess and he still didn’t know how to feel about that. He hadn’t even sorted out his own feelings. Subconsciously, he started playing with the hem of the t-shirt he was wearing as he turned around and waited for the food to be done.

 

Howon appeared not long after that with drier hair, approaching the slightly shorter man without making any sound. He knew that he was standing too close, noticing how Woohyun was aware of his presence now, Woohyun tensing up as Howon inched closer. He reached out for Woohyun’s hand, gently forcing the man to turn around so they were standing face to face.

Bringing Woohyun’s hand closer to his eyes, he saw a blister and bruises already forming. He sighed loudly before letting go of his friend’s hand and left the kitchen again. When Howon returned with a first-aid kit box, Woohyun still hadn’t moved from his former position. Woohyun’s face was quite flushed, probably a result of their too intimate distance earlier. As Howon was fixing Woohyun’s hand, a sigh of resignation escaped from his lips.

“What do you want to talk about?”

Woohyun began chewing on his lower lip, too nervous to put his thoughts into words. Howon looked up and saw the nervous habit. He was not used to seeing this side of Woohyun. The Nam Woohyun that he knew since college years up until they were practically best friends at work was always so composed, so confident that this nervous wreck of a guy standing in front of him right now seemed like a stranger.

“Let’s eat first,” Howon suggested.

His anger for the man was long gone, especially not after seeing Woohyun’s current state. He wasn’t even sure if he was angry in the first place. One thing for sure, he had the patience of a saint when it came to Nam Woohyun.

\--

They ate in silence, sitting facing each other though Woohyun was avoiding Howon’s eyes throughout the dinner. After the dinner, Woohyun insisted on washing the dishes which led to Howon protesting because of his bandaged hand. However, he gave in, knowing that Woohyun would be too stubborn to actually listen to him.

With Woohyun’s back on him, Howon silently watched (admired) his back view. His heart yearned to walk close to the man and engulf him in a back hug, but Howon refrained himself from doing it, not wanting to be more obvious about his feelings that he already was. Woohyun was probably the only dense one to get it. He was too busy admiring Woohyun’s back that he didn’t realise the man has been talking, only realising it when Woohyun interrupted his train of thoughts.

Howon quickly apologised for not listening and asked Woohyun to repeat what he was saying. He listened for real this, listened to Woohyun apologising again, especially for the misunderstanding today. Woohyun told him about Mijoo and how there was nothing in between them, inserting how he figured that Mijoo being at his home was the reason he left in the first place. Howon tried his best to process everything Woohyun said.

If Woohyun knew (or guessed) that Howon was mad about Mijoo in the first place, did it mean that he knew how Howon actually felt for him? After all these years of subtle pinning? Was Woohyun really dense and just saw the light today or had he been fooling Howon and knew all along? Howon knew he should be asking Woohyun all these, but as usual, different things slipped from his lips.

“Is that the only reason you’re here?”

Howon wanted to hit himself for the hostility in his voice that made Woohyun immediately tense up, the glass accidentally slipping from his hand into the sink. It was probably just his defence mechanism, but he hated how it made him sound like a jerk to Woohyun despite the man trying his best to apologise and clear the misunderstanding.

Woohyun hesitated in answering Howon’s question. Slowly, he turned the tap off, but stubbornly refused to make any move to face Howon. He took a deep breath and finally said the words he had been yearning to say since two weeks ago.

“Will you ever come back?”

The question caught Howon off guard. He had expected Woohyun to create any excuses instead of that question. On impulse, he hopped off the kitchen counter and sauntered towards Woohyun, cornering the slightly shorter man. Gently turning the man to face him, he tugged at Woohyun’s chin for their eyes to meet. The warm kitchen lighting on Woohyun’s face made him appear like a masterpiece – breathtakingly, enchantingly beautiful.

It literally hurt, having to hold back every single feeling that he had been harbouring for Woohyun all these years. That moment, they were standing so close, just their soft breathing heard on top of each other’s. Howon tried to understand the emotions that were swimming in Woohyun’s eyes, but he couldn’t figure him out. So, he reached out for one of Woohyun’s hand, holding the wrist with care and in his gentlest voice, he asked Woohyun to repeat what he had said earlier.

The immediate response from Woohyun was the redness in his cheeks, the instant biting of his lips as he was nervous. But Woohyun still repeated his question, his voice stronger this time as he looked into Howon’s eyes despite feeling very much exposed and embarrassed.

“What’s your fifth reason?”

Howon must be feeling like a prick that night because instead of giving Woohyun the answer he needed, he was feeling adventurous and decided to answer with a question. Truth to be told, the night could end badly if he kept this up, the tension was growing with each ticking moment. However, Howon just wanted to be sure. He wanted to confirm, that he was not the only one feeling _it_. He knew it was ridiculous and unprofessional of him to mix his feelings with his job; that it was supposed to be a conversation about him going back to the company, getting back his job, a completely professional context that didn’t require him to bring his unrequited love into the frame.

But Howon saw the difference in how Woohyun responded to him and deep down, he was growing hopeful – that it wasn’t just a silly part of him that was being delusional that Woohyun might feel the same. He squeezed the hand in his, a sign gesture for Woohyun to know it was his turn to speak.

Woohyun was hesitant. He realised that he never gave Howon his last reason for him to come back. His cheeks heated up as he thought of the reason that made him wait for Howon, silently hoping that the man would come back, eventually. He took a deep breath and with his head down, he said the words that he had been keeping to himself.

“Because I need you.”

That did it. Something in Howon broke and the next moment he found himself hugging the man in front of him. Tightening his arms around Woohyun, he mumbled his thanks over and over again on Woohyun’s shoulder. It took a while before Woohyun returned the hug as he wrapped his arms around Howon’s waist.

“If I come back, can you do one thing for me?”

Howon was pretty sure his brain had no filter that night after the question slipped from his mouth. Instead of tensing up at the question, Woohyun rubbed his face on Howon’s shoulder. It was a good sign, Howon thought.

“Yes. Anything, Howon. I’ll do anything.”

The anticipation in Woohyun’s stomach grew as he waited for Howon. He had just said yes to Howon without knowing the request, without knowing what he’s in for.

\--

Woohyun’s hands trembled as he tried to button up his plain light grey shirt, realising how he looked horrible in the body-length mirror in front of him. The nervousness at the bottom of his pit had been bugging him since last night. It had been exactly a week after he’d last seen Howon and he couldn’t believe that he was going on a date with him. Not just any other friends-date, but an exclusive ‘I like you in a romantic way’ date. He was pretty sure that his heart hadn’t calmed down since the realisation sank in.

Despite the nervousness sitting in his stomach, he knew there was something else – excitement. He was actually excited and the only thing that he looked forward all week was today: the D-Day, the day he would meet Howon at a fancy restaurant they both had picked, meeting not as close friends or colleagues, but as each other’s date.  He fumbled with the topmost button and groaned in frustration.

“Nervous, I see,” Dongwoo’s sudden voice made him jump. He turned to face his best friend and let out a whine as the teasing smile on Dongwoo’s face got bigger.

“Come here, you idiot,” Dongwoo said, the smile not leaving his face even after Woohyun trudged towards him like a wounded puppy.

Dongwoo started helping Woohyun with the buttons, realising how severe Woohyun’s anxiety as he noticed the buttons were mismatched. He chuckled as he redid them for Woohyun.

“What do you do without me, Woohyun,” Dongwoo teased, adding, “Big day, heh?”

“Don’t be a dick, I’m already a mess,” Woohyun whined, ruffling his already messy hair even worse. Dongwoo slapped his hand away before combing the hair with his fingers until the hair looked presentable again.

“Don’t mess your hair, you’re gonna be late if you’re gonna spend another hour fixing and re-fixing it,” Dongwoo warned, sauntering towards Woohyun’s walk-in closet. He saw the blood red tie already taken out of the neckties drawer. He picked it up.

“This colour will look nice on you,” Dongwoo said, already marching towards Woohyun to help him with his necktie too, but was surprised when Woohyun took a step back.

“Actually, I had a second thought about that colour. What do you think about this one?” Woohyun asked, his voice wavered in uncertainty.

“Dark purple? Seriously? You hate purple, Hyun. Since when do you even own purple neckties?” Dongwoo grabbed the tie from Woohyun’s hand; his familiar laughter filled the room as the heat in Woohyun’s cheeks grew deeper.

“Oh my God, you’re already so whipped and you haven’t even been on your first date with him,” Dongwoo sputtered, still laughing until he had to hold onto Woohyun for support.

“Jerk,” Woohyun groaned, snatching the purple tie from Dongwoo’s grasp. He started doing his tie, but frustratingly kept getting the length wrong.

“I’m sorry, okay?” Dongwoo said, chuckling to himself as he took over the task.

It didn’t take long for Dongwoo to finish the tie, tightening the knot as the last step. Then, he patted his nervous friend’s shoulders.

“Breathe, Woohyun. Everything’s gonna be fine,” Dongwoo said, being serious for once.

Woohyun started stuttering as he mumbled about all the things that could go wrong with the date and how he could mess things up even more. Dongwoo looked at Woohyun, his eyes fond.

“Calm down,” he said as he held onto both sides of Woohyun’s face.

“Okay?” Dongwoo said. When Woohyun’s breathing started to calm down again, he spoke, “Good. Now tell me, how are you going there? Is Howon going to pick you up?”

“No, we agreed to meet at the restaurant,” Woohyun muttered.

Dongwoo glanced down at the trembling hands and sighed. “Do you want me to send you? You obviously can’t drive like this.”

Taking Dongwoo off guard, Woohyun engulfed the shorter man in a bone-crushing hug. “Thank you, Dongwoo hyung, you’re the best!”

Woohyun couldn’t stop himself from thinking of all the possibilities that he was going to ruin their date by doing silly mistakes that could embarrass himself, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Dongwoo, who had been keeping his eyes on Woohyun throughout the ride to the restaurant Woohyun and Howon had agreed to meet up.

“So, how are you going back? Do you want me to pick you up?” Dongwoo asked.

“I don’t know. It’s troublesome enough for you to send me, hyung. Maybe Howon could send me home…” Woohyun said the last part with uncertainty in his voice.

“Ah, I see your hidden intention of having me to send you here instead of driving your car yourself,” Dongwoo teased the younger man.

“You offered yourself!” Woohyun retorted, face red. He refused to look at Dongwoo and kept his gaze out of the car.

After a nice ten minutes filled with silence, they finally reached the restaurant and Dongwoo had to convince Woohyun again that everything would be fine if he just acted like himself. The younger man refused to leave the car at first, only when Dongwoo threatened to make Howon come and fetch him, Woohyun finally stepped out of the car.

“Don’t forget to ask Howon to send you home! Or if anything happens, just call me, alright?” Dongwoo said. After that, he was gone.

Woohyun fixed his tie for the umpteenth time as he nervously fidgeted in front of the restaurant entrance. An employee approached him.

“May I help you, sir?” the employee asked after bowing to him.

“Ah, I made a reservation…wait, actually my friend did,” Woohyun stuttered, hating himself after hearing how silly and nervous he sounded.

“May I get your name, sir?”

“Howon,” Woohyun whispered, his breath was caught in his throat as he met eyes with the man whom he had agreed to do anything, just so he could get the man back to his side.

“Is it Lee Howon?” the employee asked for confirmation.

Howon cleared his throat, as if to announce his presence. The employee, who had escorted Howon earlier, got the message and retreated to attend to other customers.

“Hi,” Howon said shyly as he stepped closer to Woohyun, offering a hand shake.

Woohyun took Howon’s hand awkwardly and the handshake turned into a soft tug leading to their table, located away from other tables – private. His heart was beating fast as the firm grip on his hand reminded him of how he shouldn’t be feeling this way if Howon was just a friend and a colleague, a former colleague to be exact. Then, he started to wonder for how long he been feeling like this and how long he had been refusing to acknowledge that his feeling towards Howon was more than what a friend should have for his long-time buddy.

He felt himself getting slightly pushed to sit on the opposite chair from Howon’s. When Howon finally seated himself in front of Woohyun with that charming smile showcasing his canines, Woohyun cursed in his head: _Fuck, he’s so fucking handsome._

\--

Howon thought Woohyun look breathtakingly stunning and beautiful and handsome and sexy, everything at once when he saw Woohyun standing awkwardly and nervously in front of the restaurant entrance. Even when the man was finally seated in front of him, avoiding his gaze, he still felt that everything tonight was surreal. He still couldn’t believe that he was on a date with the man of his dream, as cheesy as it sounded.

To be honest, Howon had always thought that Woohyun was the natural leader type, leading conversations and people even. Being under Woohyun’s wings all these years just proved how much Woohyun himself was comfortable being in control, being the one with the power over everyone, naturally leading people just as natural as other people followed his lead without hesitation. However, these past few weeks made Howon ponder if he really, completely knew Woohyun like the back of his hand like he thought he did.

The nervousness on Woohyun’s face was obvious and the way he fidgeted in his seat was all too endearing to Howon. He felt like getting up and squeezing Woohyun in a hug, and told him that it was going to be fine and he didn’t need to be afraid of anything, need not to be afraid of making mistakes, need not to be afraid of messing things up. But instead, he settled for hand holding as he reached for Woohyun’s hand. He could tell that the gesture surprised Woohyun, but he proceeded trying to make eye contact.

Howon squeezed the hand in his, pressing his thumb on Woohyun’s pulse point. His pulse had been quick before, but Howon could feel the man relaxing as his heartbeat slightly calmed down. He figured that he must have been subconsciously smiling as Woohyun was smiling back at him albeit shyly.

It felt weird for Howon to be the one leading the conversation as they dined, but as the night grew it was obvious how Woohyun seemed more comfortable and less nervous as Howon steered topic after topic to be talked about. Woohyun slowly grew back to his chatty self, excitedly talking and reminiscing about their olden days in college. Howon swore Woohyun was literally glowing that night. He was the one to lead the conversation, however once Woohyun talked, he became the loyal listener, his expression mirroring Woohyun’s expressions as he talked about their past.

“You know, I’ve always liked you…even from back then,” Howon said in a quiet voice.

He surprised himself as the words slipped from his mouth. He didn’t know where the courage came from, but he just kept going, confessing.

“That’s why I kept following you around, bugging you and trying my best to make myself seem important in your life. Your morning coffee, I knew you didn’t even drink coffee at first, but I was so determined to make you like it, like me. And miraculously, you did. You soon began allowing me into your home and it made me so happy. You have no idea. I just want to say thank you, Woohyun. For everything. For just being here today.”

Howon was biting his lips, nervous as he waited for Woohyun’s reaction. He totally didn’t expect this though: Woohyun palming both of his cheeks with his hands as he tried to contain a sheepish smile. He just knew behind Woohyun’s hands were his reddened cheeks. It made Howon’s heart swell in happiness, to see how his words had such effect on Woohyun.

“Howon, can we order some wine?” Woohyun’s request caught him off guard.

“You want to drink?” he asked, to which Woohyun nodded, his hands still on his cheeks.

Howon quickly called a waiter and placed an order for Woohyun’s request. He couldn’t help the silly smile tugging at his lips as he observed how adorable Woohyun was being. The wine came a few minutes later.

“Give me your hand,” he said softly when they were alone again.

Woohyun pouted in response, shaking his head. Howon subconsciously pouted too, pretending to sulk and it didn’t take two seconds before Woohyun’s willing hand was in his again. He held it as if it was the most precious thing in the world (it was), rubbing his thumb on random spots on the back of Woohyun’s hand.

“What are you doing?” Woohyun giggled, finding the motion on this particular area of his hand ticklish. He tried to pull his hand away from Howon’s only to be pulled back.

“Are you ticklish here?” Howon asked out of curiosity, rubbing this particular part near the inside of Woohyun’s wrist.

“Y-Yes,” Woohyun said as he giggled again, squirming to get his hand away from Howon’s.

Howon finally released Woohyun’s hand, surprised when he saw the disappointment on Woohyun’s expression and the small pout climbing back onto his face. Grabbing Woohyun’s hand once again, he squeezed it.

“I’ll hold your hand again, but didn’t you say you want to drink wine just now?”

He let out a chuckle as the pout was prominent when he released Woohyun’s hand once again to pour the wine into Woohyun’s glass. He only poured a small amount into both of their glasses, considering how Woohyun was very lightweight especially when it came to wine and he would be driving later. He didn’t want Woohyun to get shitfaced drunk and forget all the things they did and how they felt tonight.

“So, cheers?” Howon lifted his glass after handing Woohyun his.

Woohyun followed suit and clinked their glasses together before taking a sip. He crinkled his nose at the strong smell.

“Is it too strong?” Howon asked before he himself took a sip. The wine taste was stronger than he expected. Then, he saw the year stated on the bottle and he figured out why.

“It’s okay, I guess. But you know me,” Woohyun said, giggling as he put his glass down.

Howon decided to ask if Woohyun brought his car, which Woohyun shook his head. The man had this almost dazed look on his face, smiling as he stared at Howon without feeling embarrassed at all, so different from how he behaved earlier. Howon subtly pulled Woohyun’s wine glass away from his reach. _Freaking lightweight._

“Then, did you take a cab here?” Howon asked, frowning despite his heart leaping at the newly found information that Woohyun didn’t bring his car tonight.

“Dongwoo hyung sent me,” Woohyun said, “So…you sort of have to send me home tonight,” he added like an afterthought.

“Hm, I don’t know. I have a place to go tonight,” Howon said, teasing as he eyed Woohyun’s reaction carefully. He certainly didn’t expect a cute whine coming out of the other man’s lips as he begged Howon not to leave him at the restaurant.

“You idiot. Of course I won’t leave you here. What do you take me for?”

Woohyun only pouted again as a response; as if that was the only thing he was capable of doing at the moment.

“As I was saying…do you want to go with me?” Howon asked nervously.

Woohyun’s eyes practically lit up at the invitation, nodding eagerly. Howon smiled in happiness, stretching his hand out and Woohyun’s hand met his halfway and they interlocked their fingers for the first time.

\--

Howon packed two bottles of mineral water from the restaurant on his way out. He guided Woohyun to his car and coaxed him into drinking the water to sober him up a little. Howon still couldn’t believe how terrible Woohyun was at drinking. Yet he found the man even more endearing than ever. Woohyun drank the water diligently and he was about to reach for the second bottle when Howon stopped him.

“You’d want to wait for another bottle,” Howon said, taking away the bottle from Woohyun and threw it somewhere at the back.

Howon wanted to kiss the pout on Woohyun’s face so bad, but he somehow couldn’t find the courage to do it. Sighing, he kept a safe distance between his face and Woohyun’s as he helped Woohyun with the seat belt.

“Oh, you fixed it,” Woohyun pointed out, his voice sounding clearer than before.

“Yeah, I did. Aren’t I great?” Howon chuckled. He realised that he was somehow still in Woohyun’s personal space.

“You are,” Woohyun whispered, “You’re a great man, Howon.”

His eyes widened at the unexpected praise from Woohyun, his cheeks involuntarily heating up. Before he could retract back to his seat, Woohyun pressed his lips on his cheek. Howon blushed deeper.

“I…” Woohyun swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t think he could say what he had been wanting to say all week now, so he let the silence speak for him.

“It’s okay, Woohyun,” Howon said, gently squeezing Woohyun’s hand as a reassurance.

“I hope you like fireworks,” Howon muttered, a small smile tugging at his lips when he felt Woohyun’s fingers intertwining his.

“I do.”

\--

There was this weird warm feeling bubbling in Howon’s chest as he recalled how Woohyun’s eyes literally sparkled as they witnessed the firework a while ago, their shoulders touching as they stood close, fingers locked. The effect of the wine was all gone as Woohyun started jogging in his place, trying to keep his body warm. Howon only noticed when he saw Woohyun’s red nose and ears.

When Howon pulled Woohyun closer, there was no hesitation; no tensing up from the other man and it occurred to Howon how far they had progressed in such a small period of time. Skinships became so natural yet he couldn’t stop his heart from running a marathon each time their bodies made contact. The way Woohyun leaned into his body, seeking warmth as he wrapped his arms around Howon’s waist; everything about him was all too endearing for Howon to handle.

This time Howon didn’t hold back. He tugged at Woohyun’s chin, lifting it so their eyes met. He remembered Woohyun having a small, contented smile on his lips as Howon lowered his lips to meet Woohyun’s. And suddenly the fireworks in the background didn’t matter because there were far more beautiful, heart-pounding sparks going off when their lips touched.

Caressing his lips at the memory, he smiled to himself. His car was parked outside of Woohyun’s house; the other man was fast asleep in the passenger seat. Howon took his time in waking Woohyun up, relishing in the moment he could stare at his calm sleeping face. He traced light touches on the sleeping man’s face, outlining his eyebrows which twitched at the feathery touches. He felt a sink in his stomach as he stroked the dark bags under Woohyun’s eyes, knowing that he was probably one of the many reasons that were stressing Woohyun up recently.

To his surprise, Woohyun’s eyes fluttered open as his hand flew to keep Howon’s retreating hand on his face. Then, he mumbled sleepily, a faint smile on his lips.

“What are you saying?” Howon chuckled as Woohyun leaned into Howon’s hand, rubbing his cheek as if to keep him awake.

“H-How long have you been staring at me?” Woohyun asked, yawning as he did.

Howon’s hand was quick to cover the yawn for Woohyun, feeling a smile forming on his face as he noted the sheepish expression on the other man’s face.

“Long enough,” Howon said and Woohyun blushed deeper.

“Do you want to come in?” Woohyun asked despite his earlier embarrassment, taking Howon off guard.

“Do you want me to?” Howon replied, biting his lower lip out of nervousness.

Of course he wanted to come inside, but he also didn’t want Woohyun to feel like he was pushing and forcing the relationship. After all, they had just gone on their first date. Howon had spent the rest of his college years trying to win Woohyun’s heart and was somehow content with staying as his close friend for years; he didn’t see the reason why he couldn’t wait now. He decided that taking it slow wouldn’t hurt.

“You think too much,” Woohyun’s voice interrupted his thoughts. Howon was confused for a while, but it didn’t matter as Woohyun was leaning in and he was happy to meet him halfway. They kissed for the second time of the day.

For a typical (successful) first date, the date should have ended at the goodbye kiss part. However, Howon felt so blessed to be that 0.01% of the lucky people who actually got invited into Woohyun’s home. It felt weird to step into Woohyun’s house, not as his colleague or his close friend even, but as his date instead – a possible future lover. Woohyun had to cling to him; his sleepiness had somehow taken away his stability as he leaned into Howon, letting himself be guided into his own home.

Howon was starting to wonder if the wine was drugged or something because he swore that Woohyun didn’t even finish his portion. He pushed Woohyun gently onto the sofa, taking off his jacket and placing it behind Woohyun’s head as a substitute pillow. He then softly patted on Woohyun’s cheek to keep him awake.

“Hyun? Are you okay?” Howon asked, starting to feel worried over Woohyun’s condition. He glanced at the clock on the wall, it was not even that late for Woohyun to appear this sleepy (and almost vulnerable).

“Yeah, I’m just sleepy…and tired,” Woohyun mumbled, struggling to stay awake.

“I’m going to make you some coffee, alright?” Howon was already on his feet when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He crouched down, so he was on eye-level with Woohyun.

“What is it, Hyun?” Howon asked.

“I’m glad I said yes to you,” Woohyun muttered, and then he was pulling Howon into a languid kiss that sent the butterflies in his stomach crazy.

\--

 


	4. Final Part

\--

Woohyun woke up next morning feeling extremely warm, with a strong arm wrapped around his waist. He blinked, once, twice, trying to focus on the event that happened last night which seemed pretty fuzzy to him at the moment. His body was still tired yet he felt like it had been a while since he got a quality, uninterrupted sleep like last night’s. He tried to minimise his movement, as not to wake the sleeping man next to him. He managed to make out what he was wearing: his favourite wash-out hoodie from college and a pair of black shorts. He noticed that Howon had changed into a plain blue t-shirt which he recognised as his and noted that Howon was wearing a boxer that barely covered his muscular legs. He started recalling last night’s event and deeply blushed at the incoming flashback.

_When Howon left to make coffee for him, Woohyun moved into a sitting position, rubbing his stomach which had been feeling uncomfortable all evening. Soon enough, Howon appeared with a steaming mug and sat down next to him. Woohyun pretended that nothing was wrong and casually leaned back on the sofa, Howon’s concerned eyes trained on him._

_“Made you your favourite. I made it warm, here,” Howon said, guiding the mug to Woohyun’s lips, one hand on the man’s nape._

_Woohyun only drank a little before he was pushing Howon’s hand away gently, a sign that he’s had enough. Howon frowned; it was rare for Woohyun to reject his coffee since he loved it so much._

_“Let’s go to the hospital and get you checked, alright? You don’t look okay, Hyun,” Howon whispered, holding onto Woohyun’s face as he rubbed the man’s cheek affectionately._

_As Howon expected, Woohyun stubbornly shook his head. The stubbornness still made Howon frowned, feeling lost as he didn’t what to do with the man in front of him at the moment. They sat in silence, with Howon stroking Woohyun’s cheeks as Woohyun’s eyelids kept on fluttering shut and open. Howon decided that he couldn’t look at Woohyun like this and took Woohyun off guard when he suddenly scooped the man up in his arms and carried him to his bedroom._

_A series of protests escaped from Woohyun’s lips, asking Howon to put him down as he could walk on his own. Howon just tightened his arms around the man, so he wouldn’t drop him along the way. He gently placed Woohyun on his bed._

_“Do you need help with changing your clothes?” Howon asked, purely out of concern._

_That earned him quite a painful punch on his arm as Woohyun muttered ‘pervert’ under his breath. That strangely made Howon smile. He silently watched Woohyun disappear into his walk-in closet and waited. He said in a loud voice telling Woohyun to call him if he needed anything and got an ‘I’ll be fine, Howon’ from him instead._

_However, Woohyun was taking too long and it was getting a bit too quiet to Howon’s liking. His heart started beating faster as the worry increasingly crept up in his gut once again. In no time, he found himself standing at the entrance of Woohyun’s closet. Woohyun’s back was on him as his hand held onto one of this wardrobe doors to support himself. Howon rushed to Woohyun’s side and wrapped his arm around the man. He found that Woohyun’s shirt was only halfway unbuttoned and the man looked faint._

_“God, Woohyun! Are you okay? Hyun?” Howon asked, trying his best not to panic as he tapped Woohyun’s cheek a few times._

_“I’m…fine. I just need…a moment,” Woohyun whispered quietly, gently pushing himself off Howon, so that he was supporting himself rather than leaning against the man._

_“You don’t look fine to me. What’s wrong? Tell me, Woohyun. God, you look like you’re about to pass out any time soon and you aren’t even drunk right now,” Howon blabbered, it almost seemed like he was nagging if it’s not for the concern dripping from his voice._

_Woohyun let out a weak laugh, mumbling that he was just too tired and how he couldn’t sleep for the past three days because of work and even more last night because he was too nervous for their date. Howon honestly didn’t know whether to hit Woohyun or to kiss him because he was practically the embodiment of the word ‘endearing’._

_“Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I would have cancelled today’s date…you know we can do this on another day, I’m not that bad, okay? I would have understood, Hyun,” Howon said, couldn’t help the disappointed tone in his voice. He was not disappointed in Woohyun, just at the fact that the man seemed not to trust Howon enough to tell him these things and it seemed Woohyun didn’t know how Howon valued his health on top of everything else._

_“No…I wouldn’t miss our date tonight for anything in the world. I mean it, Howon. I mean my yes to you,” Woohyun said in his most serious voice before his lips broke into a small smile that was only meant for Howon’s eyes. As if on cue, Woohyun started swaying. And when he fell, he fell right into Howon’s strong, steady arms._

_“You c-caught me,” Woohyun chuckled faintly._

_“Yeah, I got you. I got you now, Woohyun,” Howon said with the biggest smile on his face despite the situation._

_Howon ended up helping Woohyun into his sleeping attire, tucking him into bed. He disappeared for a while before appearing in a new set of comfortable clothes to sleep in with a damp towel in his hand. Then, Howon began dabbing Woohyun’s face with it. Woohyun’s eyes were close and he was muttering something under his breath._

_“What is it, baby?” Howon asked worriedly._

_Woohyun mumbled about the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach again and Howon somehow ended up lying next to his (boy)friend, his hand sneaked under Woohyun’s t-shirt as he started to massage the man’s belly._

_“Is this okay? Am I helping?” Howon murmured, voice filled with concern._

_Woohyun nodded, whispering, “What do I do without you, Lee Howon?”_

_It left Howon feeling extremely happy and emotional for the rest of the night. He kept massaging Woohyun even after the man was asleep. Watching Woohyun fall asleep in his arm, he soon followed the man to dreamland, but not before pulling Woohyun closer to him._

Woohyun spent a good thirty minutes admiring Howon’s serene sleeping face before his stomach grumbled in protest. He pushed himself off the bed and left his room to call for delivery, feeling too tired and lazy to even attempt at cooking this early. As he waited for the delivery boy to arrive with his breakfast, he found a sticky note from Dongwoo on the fridge, letting him know that he had gone to Mijoo’s house for the weekend. It meant he had the house to himself. The sudden excitement he felt in his gut made him blush, realising where his thoughts were leading him to.

It didn’t take long before the breakfast was here. Woohyun only ate a little, just enough to fill his protesting tummy. He ordered for Howon too, and decided that he wanted to wait for the man, so they could eat together when Howon finally woke up. Seeing Howon’s sleeping face, he didn’t have the heart to interrupt his peaceful slumber. He repacked the food and kept it refrigerated before making his way back into his bedroom.

Slowly he climbed onto his bed, snuggling close to Howon. Woohyun tried to keep his breathing as quiet as possible, taking this chance to observe Howon’s sleeping face in fascination. It dawned on him how much he had been missing. The realisation of how beautiful Howon looked in the morning glow made his heart stutter. He wondered how long he had been pushing the attraction that he felt for Howon aside. Despite that Howon was supposed to be just a ‘friend’, looking back on the years he spent with Howon, he actually did more things with Howon than he ever did with his past lovers. It also made his heart ache when he’s reminded of how Howon always treated him much more than a normal friend would.

He felt stupid for his ignorance to Howon’s feelings for him. He should have realised it sooner. The grocery dates, the daily homemade coffee, the daily call Howon made before he went to sleep asking about his day and somehow it took the burden off his mind, how his occasional lunch treats when they were not having clients had put a smile on Howon’s face for the rest of the week, and how sometimes they went to the movies together and subconsciously held hands throughout the movie then pretended like nothing happened – recalling all these made him feel stupider.

Howon’s hand on his tummy surprised him, especially seeing how the man was still asleep. Howon’s massages were nice – his long fingers were caressing, stroking his stomach like he did last night. Sleepily, the other man mumbled asking if he’s feeling okay. Woohyun felt a lump in his throat, a little too overwhelmed at the care Howon was displaying.

Howon’s eyes fluttered open and an instant smile graced his lips as the first thing he saw was Woohyun’s face.

“Hi,” Howon whispered; his voice rough and still thick with sleep.

Woohyun didn’t think much when he leaned in and pressed his lips softly onto Howon’s. The man quickly cupped Woohyun’s face, an arm around Woohyun’s waist bringing him closer than he already was. They kissed softly, as if afraid that any one of them was going to break if they put more pressure into the kiss. When they parted, both were slightly panting and breathless, face red.

“Wow. Good morning to you too,” Howon chuckled, loving how his morning started already. But Woohyun’s silence worried him a little. “Woohyun?” he said as he caressed Woohyun’s cheek.

Woohyun took Howon by surprise as he rolled over and straddled him. The initial shock Howon had felt was quickly replaced with concern.

“Whoa, baby…what’s wrong?” Howon asked, hands on Woohyun’s hips.

“Howon, I…” Woohyun broke into sniffles before the waterworks took over. Howon sat up in a heartbeat, Woohyun falling onto his lap. He caught Woohyun’s tears with his fingers, brushing them away, but each time they were replaced by newer tears. Howon’s expression softened as he continued to wipe away Woohyun’s tears.

“You’re not actually crying because you regretted last night, are you?” Howon asked, intending it to be a joke. But little did he know that it only caused Woohyun’s crying to intensify as he stuttered to get what he wanted to say out.

“N-No,” Woohyun sobbed, “I just…”

It made Howon’s heart ache seeing Woohyun like this; basically an emotional mess and he didn’t even know what was on the man’s mind.

“Oh thank goodness,” Howon breathed as he pulled Woohyun close for a hug, his hand in Woohyun’s hair, petting and rubbing the man’s head comfortingly.

Woohyun was sobbing in Howon’s arms and for the first time ever, Howon sincerely didn’t know how to deal with Woohyun. He knew he wasn’t the best consoler and Woohyun didn’t really cry that often (at least not in front of him), so Howon just held him there, held him close, in hope it would make Woohyun feel better. He wrapped one hand around the small of Woohyun’s back, the other caressed Woohyun’s back gently as he felt Woohyun moving to press his crying face on his shoulder.

After a while, it went really quiet and for a second Howon was convinced that Woohyun had fallen asleep. But then he heard a small, sheepish mutter near his ear.

“I’m sorry?” Howon said, running his fingers through Woohyun’s soft locks.

“I just realise how much I love you,” Woohyun confessed, this time in a clearer voice.

Hearing that, Howon pulled Woohyun away and held his face so he could see Woohyun’s face again. Then he saw it: red eyes, red nose, puffy yet flushed face and Howon had to bite his inner cheek because everything about Woohyun was so fucking endearing at the moment. He wanted so bad to erase the distance between them and kiss Woohyun senselessly. But Howon needed to hear it again and he wanted to see Woohyun’s face when he said it.

“Say it again, baby.”

Woohyun blushed deeply at the request, but he kept his eyes on Howon’s as he repeated those important words once again. Howon didn’t waste any moment as he dived for Woohyun’s lips, the fireworks setting off in their guts.

Woohyun pushed Howon back onto the bed and reclaimed his lips, his hands tentatively cupping Howon’s face as he kissed him deeper - as if he was trying to convey his whole entire feelings for Howon in that one kiss. Howon couldn’t help it. He had been wanting to run his fingers all over Woohyun’s body since forever and today that wish was granted. He loved how every single touch would elicit some sort of response from Woohyun. The man was so responsive to everything Howon did to him.

Howon let out a soft chuckle as a whine escaped from Woohyun’s lips when he had to break the kiss to take Howon’s top off. However, the piece of cloth didn’t seem to work with him.

“Calm down, Hyun,” Howon laughed a little before flipping their position, him straddling Woohyun.

“T-Take it off,” Woohyun breathed hardly. Howon was more than willing to comply. Taking the t-shirt off, he threw it somewhere in the room. He couldn’t stop the moan from spilling from his lips as Woohyun’s warm hands quickly found his nipples, giving them a playful rub.

Woohyun traced Howon’s well-defined abs. He knew the man liked sports and gym, but it was actually his first time seeing Howon’s naked torso. He tugged at Howon’s chin, hinting what he wanted and Howon leaned in, kissing him again. Woohyun decided that he would never get tired of Howon’s kisses. As cheesy as it sounded, they gave him butterflies and made him feel hot all over. Taking Howon’s hand, he guided it under his hoodie.

“T-Touch me,” Woohyun breathed hotly in Howon’s ears, “please.”

Howon’s lips peppered Woohyun’s sharp jaw with gentle kisses as his hand was busy tracing Woohyun’s tummy, loving the gasps he was eliciting from Woohyun as he played with his perky nipple.

“H-Howon,” Woohyun moaned when Howon gave his collarbone a hard suck, making sure that he left a blooming red mark there.

“Not fair,” Howon’s lips found Woohyun’s again, his fingers still lazily teasing Woohyun’s hard nubs, “You’re still clothed,” he mumbled against Woohyun’s lips.

An almost shy smile took over Woohyun’s face, but the words that came out of his mouth were far from that nature.

“Why don’t you change it?” Woohyun sure had the nerve to say those words in the most innocent expression ever accompanied by a shy lip-biting. It almost drove Howon crazy because what Woohyun told him was so fucking sexy as compared to the shy, almost embarrassed expression on his face. It took a lot of self-control on Howon’s behalf not to rip the hoodie Woohyun was wearing.

However, what Howon did was the exact opposite of what he had in mind. He slowly pushed Woohyun’s hoodie upwards, exposing his soft tummy, with every little patch of skin showing he made sure to shower it with soft kisses. He loved it this way, discovering Woohyun’s body and his sensitive spots. He never noticed it before how Woohyun was hypersensitive to his touches. Howon kissed the spot just below his navel and it earned him a soft moan followed by a series of giggles from the man beneath him as he kept on kissing the same spot.

Howon looked up and saw Woohyun’s flushed face. It looked like he was having a hard time to control his breathing.

“You okay there, Hyun? Want me to…”

“Don’t stop,” Woohyun beat him to it.

Howon smiled, caressing the sides of Woohyun’s tummy as he climbed to find Woohyun’s lips again and landed a soft peck on his glistening red lips. They barely did anything, but he knew what they did to each other was more than enough to send both hearts racing in a marathon. So, he decided to slow the pace, cupping Woohyun’s cheeks as he engaged Woohyun in a languid kiss.

“I thought,” Woohyun breathed and reattached his lips onto Howon’s, “you want to,” another breath then he kissed Howon again, “take this off.”

Climbing off Woohyun’s hips, he pulled Woohyun close as they laid side by side, still engaged in a lazy yet passionate kiss.

“I thought you need a breather,” Howon whispered, dropping kisses anywhere but Woohyun’s lips. “We can take it slow, okay? Everything can wait.”

“We waited long enough,” Woohyun shut him up, his turn to pepper kisses all over Howon’s neck. Howon continued to pull on Woohyun’s hoodie until the man had to comply and helped Howon to discard his top. They lied there, staring at each other’s naked torso in silence before Howon moved to straddle Woohyun again. He started rolling his hips on Woohyun’s still clothed member, resulting in a loud, guttural moan slipping out of Woohyun’s mouth.

Howon’s heart felt strangely warm as he saw how Woohyun was trying to hide his red face behind his hand. He leaned in and nuzzled his nose against Woohyun’s.

“Why are you so cute, Hyun? I almost feel guilty for wanting to do dirty things to you,” Howon whispered, under his eyelashes he saw red colouring Woohyun’s cheeks.

Despite that, Woohyun took Howon off guard as his hand grabbed Howon’s ass. Howon gasped at the bold move. Only then he realised how painful his erection was. He had been too preoccupied with exploring and kissing every possible part of Woohyun’s body that he forgot there was one part of him that desperately needed attention, specifically Woohyun’s attention.

Everything happened too fast that Howon wasn’t able to wrap his head around what was happening as he was reduced to a moaning mess, Woohyun’s head in between his very naked legs. Woohyun teasingly rubbed his thumb against Howon’s balls, earning a loud whimper from the man. He would never imagine Howon to be this loud in bed as he continued to fondle with his balls, thumbing Howon’s pulsating cock in his hand. He bit his lips, controlling his own arousal as Howon’s moans were all he heard.

Woohyun started jerking Howon off. The pace was too slow and painful, but Howon could only moan and encourage Woohyun to go on, liking it just because it’s Woohyun.

“Woohyun…W-Woohyun…” Howon kept chanting Woohyun’s name as if it’s his new religion, his hands grabbing the sheet under him.

Everything felt too much, he was so aroused and hard and in love and Woohyun made him feel so much even with the littlest thing he did. He was gasping and moaning Woohyun’s name when he felt it building up in his stomach – he was going to come. He was about to warn Woohyun when that little bastard suddenly lowered his mouth onto Howon’s cock and with one powerful hard suck from Woohyun,  Howon found himself coming, shooting his release right in Woohyun’s throat accompanied with a loud moan proclaiming his love for the man.  

Howon shuddered as he came down from his high, breathing heavily. He felt Woohyun’s head leaning against his leg, his brows creasing in worries again as he could only hear the man’s hard breathing.

“Hyun? Are you okay?”

Woohyun nodded slowly. He wanted to say more, but found himself speechless. Howon’s _I love you_ while he climaxed just now really took him off guard. It did crazy things to his heart and now it wouldn’t calm down. He rubbed his chest, hoping that it would somehow slow down a bit.

Howon sat down, Woohyun’s head falling onto his lap as the man curled into a foetal position in between his legs. It seemed like a very awkward position to be in especially since Howon was butt naked and Woohyun was topless. That didn’t stop him from stroking Woohyun’s dark hair gently, the gesture strangely calmed Woohyun’s racing heart.

“You okay, baby? Did I hurt you or anything?” Howon murmured, cupping Woohyun’s cheek to get a better look at the man’s face.

Woohyun’s face was red as their eyes met, a shy smile building up on his face as he shook his head. Howon didn’t think it was possible to fall deeper in love with someone until today, until Woohyun happened to him.

“Y-You,” Howon whispered, Woohyun’s eyes blinking cutely at him in confusion.

Howon held Woohyun’s nape as he captured his swollen lips in a kiss. He gently nibbled on Woohyun’s bottom lip, the man gasping at the soft bites. Howon’s hand began to wander down, tracing Woohyun’s abdomen, down to his navel before slipping his hand under Woohyun’s shorts. As he made a grab at the man’s cock, Woohyun moaned into his mouth, tongues lazily caressing against each other.

He didn’t realise how hard Woohyun had been all this while until he ran his fingers over its length, feeling it throb in his hand.

“Tell me how you want it,” Howon’s breath ghosted over Woohyun’s neck, leaving the man to tremble in between Howon’s legs.

He quickened his pace on Woohyun’s cock before slowing down to an agonisingly slow pace. Woohyun’s lips were parted, only incoherent whimpers coming out. Howon sped up a little, playing with the precum leaking from the sensitive tip.

“K-Kiss,” Woohyun managed to utter. Howon complied with the man’s request.

Woohyun’s needy lips met his impatiently as his hand grabbed Howon’s, as if to help control the pace. Howon smirked into the kiss, asking Woohyun if he wanted him to go faster.

“S-Slow down,” Woohyun’s words surprised him. He still slowed down though, breaking the kiss to properly look at Woohyun, observing his expression to see if he was okay or uncomfortable.

“I d-don’t want to come yet,” Woohyun murmured, avoiding Howon’s curious gaze as the blush crept on his face again.

“Hey, look at me…” Howon said in a soft tone. “Tell me what you want me to do, Hyun.” Woohyun bit his lip, pulling at Howon’s hand so it was no longer on his dick.

“I want you in me,” Woohyun breathed, this time he looked straight into Howon’s eyes that it almost sent Howon into a cardiac arrest just from the sheer determination oozing from Woohyun’s eyes.

Howon remained frozen in his place, too shock to react. Woohyun sat up just to lean in to drop a whisper in Howon’s ears again.

“Lee Howon-sshi, please…fuck me.”

\--

That one ‘polite’ request led to this: Woohyun lying flat on the bed with a pillow placed under his lower back which elevated his ass, Howon’s hot lips around his throbbing member and his two lube-coated long fingers probing at his hole. He groaned at the foreign feeling, grateful that Howon was going slow on him or else he would have fainted from the overstimulation that he felt and it wasn’t even the ‘real thing’ yet.

Howon’s tongue teased the underside of his cock, his fingers inching deeper. He winced slightly as it brushed against a particular spot that sent a pleasurable shiver down his spine.

“Do that again, H-Howon,” Woohyun muttered and Howon was more than happy to oblige.

“I’m putting another one, Hyun. Just be prepared, okay? It might hurt a little. Stop me if it hurts too much, alright?”

Woohyun hummed his yes, bracing himself. He was not exactly new to this, but it had been a while since he got it in the ass. Both Howon and Woohyun weren’t expecting the loud yelp that escaped from Woohyun’s lips. It startled the both of them and Howon was the first person to panic, afraid that he had hurt the other.

“I’m sorry baby, let’s not do it this way okay? I don’t want you in pain,” Howon spoke too fast, which earned him a slap on his arm.

“I’m fine, Howon. Don’t be overdramatic. Now finish preparing me and fuck me or…”

“But you’re in pain!”

“I w-was just startled. I’m going to be alright. A little pain goes a long way, they said,” Woohyun said, trying to flash a smile at Howon despite the tears in his eyes.

“I’ll be really gentle this time, baby.”

Howon tried again, this time he quickly tried to find the spot that sent Woohyun moaning his name hotly, almost begging Howon to touch him all over and fuck him. He made sure to lather enough lube around his dick to minimise any possible pain. Howon supported his body with one arm as he hovered above Woohyun, kissing the man again as he slowly pushed his length in.

Woohyun’s nails dug into his shoulder as he let out a shuddering moan into Howon’s lips as Howon inched deeper into him. Howon felt so overwhelmed, Woohyun’s tightness around his cock was testing his self-control greatly. This position made them realise that they had never felt so close and so intimate before. Howon started rocking slowly, running his fingers along Woohyun’s legs around his waist.

When Howon felt Woohyun relax around him a little, he started moving faster. It didn’t take long for him to find Woohyun’s pleasure point again, sending the man under him breathless. Woohyun started touching himself in a slower manner and Howon mirrored his pace. He figured out from their earlier session that Woohyun probably was into slow, gentle sex.

He still found himself enjoying the pace set by Woohyun, despite feeling the ache to just fuck Woohyun senseless into the mattress. Woohyun pulled him in for an open-mouthed kiss, moaning into the kiss as he neared his climax. Howon’s hand replaced Woohyun’s on his dick as he continued jerking the man off in the same slow, gentle pace. He was basically rutting lazily against Woohyun when he felt Woohyun come in his hand.

Howon thought Woohyun would wait until he caught his breath, but was deeply surprised at the almost inhuman strength Woohyun displayed as he suddenly flipped their position, so he was on top of Howon. He gasped at the feeling of Woohyun plunged deeper on his cock, but that feeling was incomparable to when Woohyun started bouncing on his lap.

Grabbing Woohyun’s hips, Howon met him halfway with his thrust. Obviously both of them were tired and spent, their skin slicked with sweats, but none of them wanted to stop as they continued to move together until Howon moaned loudly, climaxing into Woohyun.

After Howon pulled out of Woohyun, he fell right into Howon’s arms, breathing hard as his eyes were heavy with sleep again. Howon cleaned both of them up and climbed back onto bed, Woohyun immediately curled up against him. He wrapped his arms around the man and closed his eyes, tired but he had never felt better.

“I love you, Howonnie,” Woohyun mumbled against Howon’s naked chest. He smiled, looking down at the love of his life falling asleep in his arms. “I love you more, Woohyunnie.”

\--

When Howon woke up later that day, it was almost night time. He frowned as his hand grabbed onto an empty spot that should be filled by Woohyun. He got up from the bed, grabbed a pair of shorts that looked like Woohyun’s and went to search for the man. Howon found Woohyun all bundled up in a blanket in the living room. He sat on the floor, touching Woohyun’s soft hair – the only thing that wasn’t covered by the blanket.

“Baby, are you awake? Why are you sleeping outside?” Howon asked.

Howon got nothing, but a few sniffles. He gently pried the blanket away to reveal a sad faced, crying Woohyun. He quickly climbed onto the couch and gathered Woohyun in his arms, rocking their bodies back and forth.

“You okay, Hyun? Are you sick? Are you hurt somewhere? Why are you crying?”

Woohyun only leaned into Howon’s body, his head on Howon’s shoulder.

“I-I’m sorry,” Woohyun cried.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Howon cradled Woohyun’s face, wiping his tears away with his thumbs.

“W-When I think about it, I still feel guilty for lashing out at you the other day…I know I apologised and you’ve already forgiven me, but it’s really killing me,” Woohyun confessed. Howon’s expression softened. He had always known that Woohyun was the type to overthink whenever he made a mistake, but he didn’t know it bothered him to this extent. His heart ached for the man yet he felt this flutter in his gut because it almost meant he was that important in Woohyun’s life.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened actually, Hyun? I’ve been pondering about it because I know you’re not the type to lash out like that. Did Sunggyu really bother you that much that day?” Howon couldn’t help, but ask.

Woohyun wrapped his arms around Howon’s waist and stayed quiet for a while. Howon was about to tell him that he didn’t have to tell if he didn’t want to when Woohyun suddenly started hitting him with weak punches.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Come on, talk to me okay?” Howon pleaded.

“You should have been there…you should have stopped him…you should have protected me, Howon-ah.”

Howon grabbed onto Woohyun’s wrist and forced him to look at him in the eyes.

“Tell me what he did. Did he do something? Did he hurt you?”

“H-He brought M-Myungsoo.”

Howon sighed and pulled Woohyun into a hug. He just held Woohyun closer. Woohyun didn’t need to explain more for him to understand. Rubbing Woohyun’s back comfortingly, he told Woohyun, “I’m here now. I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry, baby but I’m here now.”

Woohyun met the worst part of his past, the part that hurt the most when he was still healing, still trying to forget. Myungsoo was Woohyun’s past and history and it wasn’t something that Woohyun would like to revisit. So, Howon understood that the meeting must have felt like a reality slap to Woohyun, a reminder that he couldn’t run away from his past no matter how hard he tried. And Sunggyu being an asshole he was, he knew that weakness and decided to use it against Woohyun, leading him to bring Myungsoo, his cousin, to the merger meeting.

Howon finally understood why Woohyun was mad. The man had pleaded with him to come, like he always did whenever they had a meeting with Sunggyu. He once promised Woohyun that he would help protect him from his past, so discovering about what happened made him feel guilty for not being there for the man. However, Howon decided that despite the torturous weeks of not meeting Woohyun and the roller-coaster emotional ride he wouldn’t change it for anything. Or else he wouldn’t be here, with the man he loved more than life itself in his arms.

“I’m just so sorry…It’s not even your fault,” Woohyun sniffled, wiping his own tears this time.

“Sh, if you’re gonna say that it’s your fault or what happened was a mistake, then don’t.”

“But…”

Howon pressed a finger to Woohyun’s lips, halting whatever he wanted to say.

“Look, if you didn’t make this ‘mistake’, we wouldn’t be together right now, so…”

“But still I should apologise for…”

“I have no regrets over you firing me, and you shouldn’t too. Especially since I’ve agreed to come back, alright? Don’t worry about it, Hyun,” Howon said in a reassuring tone.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” Woohyun asked, his lips forming a pout.

Howon grabbed his face and placed a peck on those pouty lips. “Woohyun baby, look. I just had sex with you and I’m currently dating the man I’ve been in love with since college day. Are you seriously thinking I’m going to hold a grudge against you for firing me?”

“But…” Woohyun tried to protest, but it was muffled as Howon tackled him on the couch, trapping him under his body – engaging Woohyun in a long, deep passionate kiss.

\--

Who would have thought Woohyun’s biggest mistake would eventually lead to this: Howon’s hand in his as he drove them to their shared workplace, matching rings on their ring fingers and a (bright) future together as a couple.

Woohyun might not know it at first, but firing Howon was (probably) the best mistake he had ever committed.

\--

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If the smut scene is a bit too emotional to some, please blame it on ‘love of my life’. (Though who in the right mind would listen to a ballad while writing a smut). I hope Flo is happy. This is my first attempt at wooya smut yikes. Hope you all like it :) (well if you don’t, then I can safely say goodbye forever to writing wooya smut or smut scenes in general lol) Happy holidays guys!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys love it! Leave some kudos if you think this one deserves it *puppy dog eyes* Guest can also give kudos, just saying :) and oh, i'd love to hear what you think about the fic :))


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